Conflict resolution and feedback models
“Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.” – Max Lucado
Conflict, when handled well, can strengthen trust, spark innovation, and improve relationships. However, unmanaged conflict can derail progress and create long-term dysfunction.
As a leader, your role is to recognize conflict early, respond with empathy and clarity, and use structured feedback models to guide honest, constructive dialogue.
Understanding Conflict in Teams
Conflict arises from differences—in values, priorities, communication styles, or work approaches. Not all conflict is negative; what matters is how it’s addressed.
Types of Conflict:
-
Task conflict – Disagreements about what needs to be done
-
Process conflict – Disagreements about how work should be done
-
Relationship conflict – Personality clashes, communication issues, or emotional tension
Task and process conflict can be healthy when approached respectfully. Relationship conflict is more personal and needs careful navigation.
Steps to Effective Conflict Resolution
-
Recognize it early
-
Don’t avoid or suppress conflict—it often escalates.
-
Create safe spaces where concerns can be raised early.
-
-
Stay neutral and curious
-
Avoid taking sides. Focus on understanding each person’s view.
-
-
Encourage open dialogue
-
Use active listening: reflect back what you hear.
-
Ask open questions like “What’s important to you in this situation?”
-
-
Focus on interests, not positions
-
Find common ground beneath differing opinions.
-
-
Agree on clear action steps
-
End with a shared plan for moving forward.
-
-
Follow up
-
Ensure issues stay resolved and trust is rebuilt.
-
The Role of Feedback in Conflict Prevention
Regular, constructive feedback prevents conflict from festering. When feedback is delivered clearly and respectfully, it builds a culture of accountability and trust.
Feedback Models Every Leader Should Know
1. SBI Model – Situation, Behavior, Impact
A simple, non-judgmental way to give clear feedback.
Situation – Describe the specific event or moment.
Behavior – State what the person did (observable, not opinion).
Impact – Explain how it affected you or the team.
Example:
“In yesterday’s team meeting (Situation), you interrupted John several times while he was presenting (Behavior). It made it hard for him to finish his point and discouraged further discussion (Impact).”
Use it for both positive and developmental feedback.
2. Radical Candor – Care Personally, Challenge Directly
From Kim Scott, this model encourages honest feedback without losing empathy.
| Care Personally ↓ | |
|---|---|
| Challenge Directly → | ✅ Radical Candor – Honest & kind |
| ❌ Ruinous Empathy – Too kind, no truth | |
| ❌ Obnoxious Aggression – Harsh, no care | |
| ❌ Manipulative Insincerity – Neither honest nor kind |
Radical Candor Example:
“I care about your success on this team, and I need to be honest—you’re not meeting deadlines consistently, and it’s affecting the whole group. Let’s talk about what’s going on and how I can support you.”
Use when you need to challenge someone with both honesty and compassion.
Feedback Do’s & Don’ts
| ✅ Do | ❌ Don’t |
|---|---|
| Focus on behavior, not character | Use labels like “lazy” or “rude” |
| Be specific and timely | Bring up vague or old issues |
| Check for understanding | Assume they get it |
| Be open to feedback yourself | Be defensive or shut down |
Reflection for Leaders
-
Do I create a space where feedback is welcomed—not feared?
-
Have I equipped my team to address conflict early and respectfully?
-
Do I model emotional control and constructive communication?
Team Activity: Feedback Practice Circles
-
In pairs, take turns giving feedback using the SBI model.
-
Use both positive (“what’s working”) and constructive (“what could improve”) examples.
-
Switch roles and debrief: How did it feel? What made it work?
Final Thought
Conflict and feedback are not signs of dysfunction—they’re signs of engagement. Great leaders don’t shy away from difficult conversations. They lean in with empathy and structure, using tools like SBI and Radical Candor to build teams that are courageous, respectful, and resilient.