Handling Difficult People and Situations

Not all negotiations are smooth. Sometimes, you’ll face people who are aggressive, manipulative, unreasonable, or emotionally charged. They may raise their voice, interrupt, dismiss your points, or use intimidation to try to force an outcome.

Instead of reacting emotionally, great negotiators stay calm, grounded, and in control — using emotional intelligence, clear boundaries, and solid strategy to bring the conversation back on track.

1. Understand the Source of Difficult Behaviour

Difficult behaviour in negotiation can stem from:

• Stress or pressure on the other person

• Lack of experience or insecurity

• A desire to dominate or “win”

• Habitual use of aggressive tactics

• Cultural communication styles

• Emotional issues that aren’t really about you

Don’t take it personally — difficult behaviour often reveals more about the other party than about you.

 

2. Types of Difficult Negotiators (and How to Handle Them)

The Aggressor

• Pushy, loud, interrupts, tries to intimidate

• Uses threats or ultimatums

How to respond:

• Stay calm and composed — don’t escalate

• Use a steady, neutral tone

• Say: “I’m happy to keep discussing this when we’re both ready to speak respectfully.”

• If needed, call a timeout or walk away temporarily

The Know-It-All

• Dismisses your points

• Overconfident, may use jargon or data to dominate

How to respond:

• Don’t get defensive — ask respectful clarifying questions

• Let them feel heard, then present your data with calm authority

• Say: “I see your point — here’s another perspective you might consider…”

The Silent Stonewaller

• Refuses to engage, gives vague responses

• Delays decisions or dodges issues

How to respond:

• Use open-ended questions to draw them out

• Set clear timelines and expectations

• Say: “Is there something specific holding you back from moving forward?”

The Manipulator

• Uses guilt, pressure, or flattery to influence you

• May twist your words or try to create confusion

How to respond:

• Stick to facts and written agreements

• Repeat your position clearly and calmly

• Say: “Let’s go back to what we agreed earlier — here’s what we had outlined.”

3. Principles for Handling Tough Negotiators

Stay Emotionally Grounded

• Take slow breaths, keep your posture open, and don’t mirror aggression.

• Pause before replying. Silence can be powerful.

Use the “Broken Record” Technique

• Repeat your key message calmly and consistently, without getting dragged into drama.

• This shows resolve without reacting emotionally.

“As I said earlier, we can move forward at the agreed rate with delivery next week.”

 

Set Boundaries Early

• If someone is disrespectful or threatening, name the behaviour and set limits.

Say:

“I want this to be productive — but I can’t continue if this becomes personal or hostile.”

• Setting boundaries shows strength, not weakness.

Acknowledge Emotion, Redirect to Logic

• A simple “I can see you’re frustrated” acknowledges emotion without getting pulled into it.

• Then calmly steer the conversation back to the issue:

“Let’s focus on the numbers we both want to work with.”

 

Know Your BATNA

• When the other party is being unreasonable, your best defence is having alternatives.

• If needed, politely indicate you’re prepared to walk away:

“I’d prefer to reach agreement with you — but I do have other options available.”

 

4. When to Pause or Exit a Negotiation

Sometimes, continuing the conversation only makes things worse. It’s okay to:

• Take a break if things get heated

“Let’s take a moment and revisit this in 15 minutes.”

 

• Reschedule for a later time

“I think we’ll be more productive if we continue this tomorrow.”

 

• End it altogether if it becomes toxic

“I don’t believe this is the right fit at this time, but I appreciate the discussion.”

 

Protecting your time, energy, and reputation is more valuable than forcing a deal.

 

5. Turning Conflict into Opportunity

Some of the most difficult negotiations lead to the strongest long-term partnerships — when handled well.

Here’s how to transform tension into progress:

• Stay solution-focused

• Find shared goals (even if you disagree on methods)

• Use phrases like:

  • “Let’s look at this from both sides.”

  • “What would a fair solution look like to you?”

  • “Is there a way we can both walk away satisfied?”

Conclusion: Grace Under Pressure

You can’t always control how the other person behaves — but you can always control how you respond.

Handling difficult negotiators takes:

• Emotional regulation

• Clear boundaries

• Strong preparation

• Respect for yourself and the process

True negotiation strength is calm, not force.